Anger
People express anger to frighten others.
Expressing anger can include the following behaviors:
People who feel revenge usually express anger. Men who feel jealousy also express anger. However, only men in love can feel jealousy and everyone feels revenge daily.
Anger's first message is "I'm preparing to harm you".
An angry person wants you to think they are preparing to physically injure you. They glare at you like a predator eyeing it target. Their nostrils flare to show they are filling their lungs with air. They curl their lips and clench their jaws to show their best natural weapons - their teeth. They make threats to show their planning.
Anger's second message is "I'm irrationally motivated to harm you".
An angry person also wants you to think he feels revenge. He is being coerced by a stabbing pain that only stops when he harms you. He is irrationally motivated to harm you. He is willing to cause himself future harm to stop revenge now.
Angry people communicate irrationality by being the opposite of rational - calm, polite and thoughtful. Instead, they are agitated, rude and thoughtless. They also demonstrate their willingness to cause themselves harm by embarrassing themselves - they use profanity, utter threats, damage property.
Communicating irrational motivation is critical to anger.
You are unlikely to be frightened by somebody calmly stating they feel revenge and want to harm you. If they really felt revenge, they would not be calm. If you are not frightened, you will not be harmed. The person feeling revenge will continue to feel revenge.
You will be frightened by somebody angrily telling you they feel revenge and want to harm you. If they are angry, they probably feel revenge. If they feel revenge, they are motivated to harm you even if it harms them. They are willing to be charged with assault, for example, to injure you. You will feel fear. The angry person will see they have harmed you by frightening you and stop feeling revenge.
Anger avoids violence.
If anger did not frighten people, angry people would continue to feel revenge. If they continue to feel revenge, they will resort to violence to stop their stabbing pain.
Anger allows angry people to stop revenge without physically harming themselves. By acting irrationally, angry people are being rational.
Anger is a voluntary expression.
Anger seems to be an involuntary reaction to revenge - it happens without thinking when you feel revenge. It seems to be involuntary because it is a deeply ingrained habit, like walking or talking. You don't think about how to walk or talk - just do it. Similarly, you express anger without thinking when you feel revenge.
Expressing anger can include the following behaviors:
- glaring
- flared nostrils
- curled lips
- clenched jaw
- yelling, screaming
- profanity, threats
- property damage
People who feel revenge usually express anger. Men who feel jealousy also express anger. However, only men in love can feel jealousy and everyone feels revenge daily.
Anger's first message is "I'm preparing to harm you".
An angry person wants you to think they are preparing to physically injure you. They glare at you like a predator eyeing it target. Their nostrils flare to show they are filling their lungs with air. They curl their lips and clench their jaws to show their best natural weapons - their teeth. They make threats to show their planning.
Anger's second message is "I'm irrationally motivated to harm you".
An angry person also wants you to think he feels revenge. He is being coerced by a stabbing pain that only stops when he harms you. He is irrationally motivated to harm you. He is willing to cause himself future harm to stop revenge now.
Angry people communicate irrationality by being the opposite of rational - calm, polite and thoughtful. Instead, they are agitated, rude and thoughtless. They also demonstrate their willingness to cause themselves harm by embarrassing themselves - they use profanity, utter threats, damage property.
Communicating irrational motivation is critical to anger.
You are unlikely to be frightened by somebody calmly stating they feel revenge and want to harm you. If they really felt revenge, they would not be calm. If you are not frightened, you will not be harmed. The person feeling revenge will continue to feel revenge.
You will be frightened by somebody angrily telling you they feel revenge and want to harm you. If they are angry, they probably feel revenge. If they feel revenge, they are motivated to harm you even if it harms them. They are willing to be charged with assault, for example, to injure you. You will feel fear. The angry person will see they have harmed you by frightening you and stop feeling revenge.
Anger avoids violence.
If anger did not frighten people, angry people would continue to feel revenge. If they continue to feel revenge, they will resort to violence to stop their stabbing pain.
Anger allows angry people to stop revenge without physically harming themselves. By acting irrationally, angry people are being rational.
Anger is a voluntary expression.
Anger seems to be an involuntary reaction to revenge - it happens without thinking when you feel revenge. It seems to be involuntary because it is a deeply ingrained habit, like walking or talking. You don't think about how to walk or talk - just do it. Similarly, you express anger without thinking when you feel revenge.
People express anger when they feel revenge - out of habit.
And people express anger when they don't feel revenge. Mothers, for instance, often express anger to control unruly children despite not feeling revenge.
And people don't express anger when you do feel revenge. At work, for example, people do not usually express anger when their boss makes them feel revenge by humiliating them.
The habit of anger can be changed.
Controlling anger requires changing a deeply ingrained habit - it is possible, but takes concerted effort. And the effort is worth it. People prefer people who do not express anger - even when they clearly feel revenge.
The first step to changing the habit of anger is understanding the emotion that usually precedes it - revenge. If you can separate revenge from anger, then you can begin to stop the habitual response of anger.
Anger is learned.
Since anger is not an innate expression, like crying or frowning, it must be learned from others. If children were never exposed to anger, they would not develop the habit of expressing anger.
And people express anger when they don't feel revenge. Mothers, for instance, often express anger to control unruly children despite not feeling revenge.
And people don't express anger when you do feel revenge. At work, for example, people do not usually express anger when their boss makes them feel revenge by humiliating them.
The habit of anger can be changed.
Controlling anger requires changing a deeply ingrained habit - it is possible, but takes concerted effort. And the effort is worth it. People prefer people who do not express anger - even when they clearly feel revenge.
The first step to changing the habit of anger is understanding the emotion that usually precedes it - revenge. If you can separate revenge from anger, then you can begin to stop the habitual response of anger.
Anger is learned.
Since anger is not an innate expression, like crying or frowning, it must be learned from others. If children were never exposed to anger, they would not develop the habit of expressing anger.
For more about emotions, visit: Happiness Dissected