Infatuation
Women feel infatuation when they "fall in love".
When a couple "falls in love", women feel infatuation and men feel monogynic love. Women do not love men and men do not feel infatuation.
Infatuation and monogynic love have different motivations and durations.
Infatuation rewards women for being sexually appealing to their man. Monogynic love rewards men for making their woman happy. This difference produces very different behavior. Infatuated women spend money on themselves to be more appealing to their men. Men in love spend money on their women to make them happy.
Infatuation ends 38 months before monogynic love. Women stop feeling infatuation for a man 8 months after meeting him. Men stop feeling monogynic love for a woman 46 months after meeting her.
After monogynic love and infatuation stop, both genders continue to feel affection – which is often mistaken as a weaker form of love. Affection has unlimited duration and grows stronger the longer you have known someone. Couples who have been together for decades feel affection as strong as weak love or infatuation.
There are two restrictions on which men can make a woman feel infatuation.
First, women can only become infatuated with strangers. Women never become infatuated, for example, with friends or old flames. Romance novels recognize the importance of strangers to infatuation. They usually start with a tall, dark stranger.
A woman who wants to become infatuated should enter new social circles where all of the men are strangers. A man who wants a woman to become infatuated with him should also enter new social circles where he will be a stranger to all of the women.
Second, women can only become infatuated with men of equal or higher rank. Said alternatively, women cannot become infatuated with men of lower rank. A working woman, for example, cannot become infatuated with an unemployed man.
The higher a man's rank, the stronger the infatuation women feel. Wealthy, powerful or famous men make women feel the strongest infatuation.
The 8 month cycle has two 4 month stages.
During stage one, the infatuation a woman feels for one man keeps growing stronger - if she keeps interacting with him on a daily or near-daily basis. If, for example, a stranger watches a woman walk by every day, he will make her feel slightly stronger infatuation each day she walks by. If a stranger compliments a female co-worker about her looks every day, he will make her feel slightly stronger infatuation each day.
The 4 month duration of stage one only applies to men of similar rank to the woman. The higher a man's rank, the shorter stage one. If a women dates a co-worker, for example, it will take him 4 months to reach stage two. If a woman dates Brad Pitt, it will take Brad 4 hours to reach stage two.
During stage two, the infatuation a woman feels for a man reaches a plateau. After growing stronger during the first stage, infatuation reaches a ceiling and stays there for the next 4 months. This is when women believe they have “fallen in love”.
During stage two, a woman's vaginal pleasure and lubrication are elevated. Women will often become wet during a date - well before foreplay or sex. During stage two, women almost enjoy sex as much as men enjoy it.
During stage two, other men can make a woman feel infatuation. However, the infatuation a woman feels for a man at stage two is much stronger than all other men. It feels to the woman as if "he is the only man for me”.
Two changes occur when the 8 month cycle of infatuation ends.
First, a woman's happiness drops. The strong positive effect of infatuation stops after 8 months - the fireworks end. She continues to feel affection for a man, but it is weak by comparison.
Second, a woman's motivation changes. She is no longer motivated by infatuation to be sexually appealing to her man. Instead, she is only motivated by affection to simply be with her man. She is, however, still motivated by infatuation to be sexually appealing to other men.
There is a 38 month gap when infatuation ends.
Women stop feeling infatuation after month 8 but men continue to feel monogynic love until month 46. In childless relationships, this leaves a 38 month gap where men are happy but women are not. (If women have a child, they feel maternal love.)
If women expect this 38 month gap, they are less likely to blame their lost happiness on the wrong cause and apply the wrong remedy. They are less likely, for example, to blame their unhappiness on their man. They would have felt less happy when their infatuation ended regardless of who their man was or what he did. They won't, for example, blame their lost happiness on their career and switch jobs.
Many women leave their men during the 38 month gap. They are replacing the lost infatuation with infatuation from another man. Famous women, who can easily find new men, tend to use this approach. Taylor Swift, for example, seems to have a new boyfriend every 9-12 months.
Women who stay during the 38 month gap enjoy growing affection. The longer you have been with someone, the stronger the affection they make you feel. Women who change relationships frequently do not enjoy this. They only feel weak affection because they have only known their men for a year or two.
Women who stay during the 38 month gap often flirt and cause jealousy. Since women in the gap cannot feel infatuation from their man they seek attention from other men to feel it. And since their man is still in love with them, their men feel jealousy when they flirt. This combination can quickly lead to a bad relationship or breakup.
Women who stay during the 38 month gap also push for marriage or children. Since they no longer feel the strong positive emotion of infatuation, women in the gap often seek to replace it with pride from marriage or maternal love.
Women can only experience heartbreak while infatuated
Infatuated women feel heartbreak when their men cheat. If more than 8 months have passed and a woman is no longer infatuated, she will no longer feel heartbreak when he cheats.
Lesbian relationships are the weakest.
Lesbian relationships are two partners feeling infatuation for about 1 year. Gay relationships are the most stable. Both partners feel monogynic love for 4 years. Heterosexual relationships are somewhere between gay and lesbian relationships. One partner feels love for 4 years but the other only feels infatuation for about 1 year.
When a couple "falls in love", women feel infatuation and men feel monogynic love. Women do not love men and men do not feel infatuation.
Infatuation and monogynic love have different motivations and durations.
Infatuation rewards women for being sexually appealing to their man. Monogynic love rewards men for making their woman happy. This difference produces very different behavior. Infatuated women spend money on themselves to be more appealing to their men. Men in love spend money on their women to make them happy.
Infatuation ends 38 months before monogynic love. Women stop feeling infatuation for a man 8 months after meeting him. Men stop feeling monogynic love for a woman 46 months after meeting her.
After monogynic love and infatuation stop, both genders continue to feel affection – which is often mistaken as a weaker form of love. Affection has unlimited duration and grows stronger the longer you have known someone. Couples who have been together for decades feel affection as strong as weak love or infatuation.
There are two restrictions on which men can make a woman feel infatuation.
First, women can only become infatuated with strangers. Women never become infatuated, for example, with friends or old flames. Romance novels recognize the importance of strangers to infatuation. They usually start with a tall, dark stranger.
A woman who wants to become infatuated should enter new social circles where all of the men are strangers. A man who wants a woman to become infatuated with him should also enter new social circles where he will be a stranger to all of the women.
Second, women can only become infatuated with men of equal or higher rank. Said alternatively, women cannot become infatuated with men of lower rank. A working woman, for example, cannot become infatuated with an unemployed man.
The higher a man's rank, the stronger the infatuation women feel. Wealthy, powerful or famous men make women feel the strongest infatuation.
The 8 month cycle has two 4 month stages.
During stage one, the infatuation a woman feels for one man keeps growing stronger - if she keeps interacting with him on a daily or near-daily basis. If, for example, a stranger watches a woman walk by every day, he will make her feel slightly stronger infatuation each day she walks by. If a stranger compliments a female co-worker about her looks every day, he will make her feel slightly stronger infatuation each day.
The 4 month duration of stage one only applies to men of similar rank to the woman. The higher a man's rank, the shorter stage one. If a women dates a co-worker, for example, it will take him 4 months to reach stage two. If a woman dates Brad Pitt, it will take Brad 4 hours to reach stage two.
During stage two, the infatuation a woman feels for a man reaches a plateau. After growing stronger during the first stage, infatuation reaches a ceiling and stays there for the next 4 months. This is when women believe they have “fallen in love”.
During stage two, a woman's vaginal pleasure and lubrication are elevated. Women will often become wet during a date - well before foreplay or sex. During stage two, women almost enjoy sex as much as men enjoy it.
During stage two, other men can make a woman feel infatuation. However, the infatuation a woman feels for a man at stage two is much stronger than all other men. It feels to the woman as if "he is the only man for me”.
Two changes occur when the 8 month cycle of infatuation ends.
First, a woman's happiness drops. The strong positive effect of infatuation stops after 8 months - the fireworks end. She continues to feel affection for a man, but it is weak by comparison.
Second, a woman's motivation changes. She is no longer motivated by infatuation to be sexually appealing to her man. Instead, she is only motivated by affection to simply be with her man. She is, however, still motivated by infatuation to be sexually appealing to other men.
There is a 38 month gap when infatuation ends.
Women stop feeling infatuation after month 8 but men continue to feel monogynic love until month 46. In childless relationships, this leaves a 38 month gap where men are happy but women are not. (If women have a child, they feel maternal love.)
If women expect this 38 month gap, they are less likely to blame their lost happiness on the wrong cause and apply the wrong remedy. They are less likely, for example, to blame their unhappiness on their man. They would have felt less happy when their infatuation ended regardless of who their man was or what he did. They won't, for example, blame their lost happiness on their career and switch jobs.
Many women leave their men during the 38 month gap. They are replacing the lost infatuation with infatuation from another man. Famous women, who can easily find new men, tend to use this approach. Taylor Swift, for example, seems to have a new boyfriend every 9-12 months.
Women who stay during the 38 month gap enjoy growing affection. The longer you have been with someone, the stronger the affection they make you feel. Women who change relationships frequently do not enjoy this. They only feel weak affection because they have only known their men for a year or two.
Women who stay during the 38 month gap often flirt and cause jealousy. Since women in the gap cannot feel infatuation from their man they seek attention from other men to feel it. And since their man is still in love with them, their men feel jealousy when they flirt. This combination can quickly lead to a bad relationship or breakup.
Women who stay during the 38 month gap also push for marriage or children. Since they no longer feel the strong positive emotion of infatuation, women in the gap often seek to replace it with pride from marriage or maternal love.
Women can only experience heartbreak while infatuated
Infatuated women feel heartbreak when their men cheat. If more than 8 months have passed and a woman is no longer infatuated, she will no longer feel heartbreak when he cheats.
Lesbian relationships are the weakest.
Lesbian relationships are two partners feeling infatuation for about 1 year. Gay relationships are the most stable. Both partners feel monogynic love for 4 years. Heterosexual relationships are somewhere between gay and lesbian relationships. One partner feels love for 4 years but the other only feels infatuation for about 1 year.
For more about emotions, visit: Happiness Dissected
