Family Relationships
Only three people feel love.
Fathers do not love their children.
Fathers do not feel paternal love. Fathers do feel affection when they see or hear their children. And the affection that fathers feel grows stronger as their children grow older. Affection motivates fathers to be with their children, but not to make them happy - like maternal love motivates mothers to make children happy.
Fathers also feel the sensation of cute when they see their infant children. This sensation is what fathers mistakenly believe is paternal love.
Recognizing that fathers do not love their children is helpful. Fathers, for example, can stop feeling guilty that they don't share the same enthusiasm as their wives about their children. Instead they can focus on what makes them feel happiest, which for young fathers is often feeling pride from career success.
Grandfathers do not love their grandchildren.
Grandfathers do not feel grandpaternal love. Grandfathers do feel affection when they see or hear their grandchildren. And the affection that grandfathers feel grows stronger as their grandchildren grow older. Affection motivates grandfathers to be with their grandchildren, but not to make them happy - like grandmaternal love motivates grandmothers to make grandchildren happy.
Grandfathers also feel the sensation of cute when they see their infant grandchildren. This sensation is what grandfathers mistakenly believe is grandpaternal love.
Recognizing that grandfathers do not love their grandchildren is helpful. Grandmothers, for example, will be more understanding if they know their husbands do not share their enthusiasm about the arrival of a new grandchild. It's not a sign that he is cold or uncaring - he just doesn't feel love like grandmothers do.
Children do not love their parents.
Children do not feel some form of offspring love. Children do feel affection when they see or hear their parents. And the affection that children feel grows stronger as the children grow older. Affection motivates children to be with their parents, but not to make them happy - like maternal love motivates mothers.
Recognizing that children do not love their parents is helpful. Parents, for example, are not crushed when their adult children spend little with them. And knowing that children are unlikely to be a reliable source of companionship means parents should count on friends for companionship.
Siblings do not love their siblings.
Siblings do feel affection for their siblings. And the more time siblings spend with each other, the stronger the affection they feel. Affection motivates siblings to be with each other, but not to make each other happy - like maternal love motivates mothers.
Recognizing that siblings don't love each other is helpful. Parents, for example, should not feel like failures because their children do not get along - children are not supposed to love each other. You should not, for example, waste your time trying to make a troublesome sibling relationship work because you think it is underpinned by love. Sibling relationships are no stronger than friendships. If they don't work, you should stop wasting your time and move on.
- mothers love their children
- grandmothers love their grandchildren
- men love their women
Fathers do not love their children.
Fathers do not feel paternal love. Fathers do feel affection when they see or hear their children. And the affection that fathers feel grows stronger as their children grow older. Affection motivates fathers to be with their children, but not to make them happy - like maternal love motivates mothers to make children happy.
Fathers also feel the sensation of cute when they see their infant children. This sensation is what fathers mistakenly believe is paternal love.
Recognizing that fathers do not love their children is helpful. Fathers, for example, can stop feeling guilty that they don't share the same enthusiasm as their wives about their children. Instead they can focus on what makes them feel happiest, which for young fathers is often feeling pride from career success.
Grandfathers do not love their grandchildren.
Grandfathers do not feel grandpaternal love. Grandfathers do feel affection when they see or hear their grandchildren. And the affection that grandfathers feel grows stronger as their grandchildren grow older. Affection motivates grandfathers to be with their grandchildren, but not to make them happy - like grandmaternal love motivates grandmothers to make grandchildren happy.
Grandfathers also feel the sensation of cute when they see their infant grandchildren. This sensation is what grandfathers mistakenly believe is grandpaternal love.
Recognizing that grandfathers do not love their grandchildren is helpful. Grandmothers, for example, will be more understanding if they know their husbands do not share their enthusiasm about the arrival of a new grandchild. It's not a sign that he is cold or uncaring - he just doesn't feel love like grandmothers do.
Children do not love their parents.
Children do not feel some form of offspring love. Children do feel affection when they see or hear their parents. And the affection that children feel grows stronger as the children grow older. Affection motivates children to be with their parents, but not to make them happy - like maternal love motivates mothers.
Recognizing that children do not love their parents is helpful. Parents, for example, are not crushed when their adult children spend little with them. And knowing that children are unlikely to be a reliable source of companionship means parents should count on friends for companionship.
Siblings do not love their siblings.
Siblings do feel affection for their siblings. And the more time siblings spend with each other, the stronger the affection they feel. Affection motivates siblings to be with each other, but not to make each other happy - like maternal love motivates mothers.
Recognizing that siblings don't love each other is helpful. Parents, for example, should not feel like failures because their children do not get along - children are not supposed to love each other. You should not, for example, waste your time trying to make a troublesome sibling relationship work because you think it is underpinned by love. Sibling relationships are no stronger than friendships. If they don't work, you should stop wasting your time and move on.
For more about emotions, visit: Happiness Dissected
