Maternal Love
Mothers feel maternal love when their child is happy.
And the happier a child is, the stronger the love that a mother feels.
Mothers stop feeling maternal love when a child is almost 3 years old.
Mothers begin to feel maternal love when their child is born. Maternal love continues until a child is 33 months old - when its first set of teeth have fully erupted. Maternal love stops at 33 months to encourage mothers to prepare for another child when the current child can eat without assistance.
Mothers continue to feel affection.
Mothers do continue to feel the weaker positive emotion of affection when they see or hear their children. This is mistakenly believed to maternal love.
In addition to being weaker, affection motivates mothers differently. Love rewards a mother for a child's happiness. Affection just rewards mothers for being in a child's presence - whether the child is happy or not.
Mothers also continue to face the threat of maternal grief.
Although maternal love ends at 33 months, the threat of maternal grief never ends. If a child dies before it's mother, the mother feels grief.
To avoid maternal grief, mothers make sure their children are properly dressed when it's cold or wear helmets when bicycling. While mothers say they take these steps because of love, it is really to avoid grief.
The end of maternal love is one reason for the terrible-two's.
Maternal love ends when a child is 2.75 years old. Without the big reward of maternal love, childcare is much less fun for mothers.
Two others reasons for the terrible-two's are the end of cute and the start of humiliation, envy and revenge. Children stop making their others feel cute when they are two. And children begin to feel the emotions of envy, humiliation and revenge when they are two. These emotions cause children to squabble with siblings and parents.
Mothers should expect the end of maternal love.
Mothers should expect their happiness to decline when their children are almost 3 years old. If they do, they will not mistakenly attribute their unhappiness to the wrong cause and take incorrect actions. They will not, for example, conclude they are depressed or in need of medical or pharmaceutical help. Or they will not conclude that they need a new career, house or husband.
Having another child is a common reaction to the end of maternal love. Mothers can feel continuous maternal love if they have another child when the current child is 33 months old. This comes to an end when the last child is 33 months old. At that point the mother is as unhappy as she would have been if she stopped at one child - but now she has the burden of multiple children.
Prospective mothers should consider the limited duration of maternal love.
Prospective mothers decide to have children because the "joy of motherhood" outweighs the many costs of having children. Prospective mothers see this joy on the faces of new mothers and want to feel it themselves. The "joy of motherhood" is the joy of maternal love.
Prospective mothers mistakenly assume that maternal love lasts forever. They assume it will always be there to offset the ongoing costs of children. And having a child is appealing when you make that mistaken assumption.
Instead, prospective mothers should assume maternal love stops at 33 months leaving only affection and maternal grief. And they should assume that children only feel affection, not love, for mothers. These assumptions provide a realistic view of what having a child means to happiness.
And the happier a child is, the stronger the love that a mother feels.
Mothers stop feeling maternal love when a child is almost 3 years old.
Mothers begin to feel maternal love when their child is born. Maternal love continues until a child is 33 months old - when its first set of teeth have fully erupted. Maternal love stops at 33 months to encourage mothers to prepare for another child when the current child can eat without assistance.
Mothers continue to feel affection.
Mothers do continue to feel the weaker positive emotion of affection when they see or hear their children. This is mistakenly believed to maternal love.
In addition to being weaker, affection motivates mothers differently. Love rewards a mother for a child's happiness. Affection just rewards mothers for being in a child's presence - whether the child is happy or not.
Mothers also continue to face the threat of maternal grief.
Although maternal love ends at 33 months, the threat of maternal grief never ends. If a child dies before it's mother, the mother feels grief.
To avoid maternal grief, mothers make sure their children are properly dressed when it's cold or wear helmets when bicycling. While mothers say they take these steps because of love, it is really to avoid grief.
The end of maternal love is one reason for the terrible-two's.
Maternal love ends when a child is 2.75 years old. Without the big reward of maternal love, childcare is much less fun for mothers.
Two others reasons for the terrible-two's are the end of cute and the start of humiliation, envy and revenge. Children stop making their others feel cute when they are two. And children begin to feel the emotions of envy, humiliation and revenge when they are two. These emotions cause children to squabble with siblings and parents.
Mothers should expect the end of maternal love.
Mothers should expect their happiness to decline when their children are almost 3 years old. If they do, they will not mistakenly attribute their unhappiness to the wrong cause and take incorrect actions. They will not, for example, conclude they are depressed or in need of medical or pharmaceutical help. Or they will not conclude that they need a new career, house or husband.
Having another child is a common reaction to the end of maternal love. Mothers can feel continuous maternal love if they have another child when the current child is 33 months old. This comes to an end when the last child is 33 months old. At that point the mother is as unhappy as she would have been if she stopped at one child - but now she has the burden of multiple children.
Prospective mothers should consider the limited duration of maternal love.
Prospective mothers decide to have children because the "joy of motherhood" outweighs the many costs of having children. Prospective mothers see this joy on the faces of new mothers and want to feel it themselves. The "joy of motherhood" is the joy of maternal love.
Prospective mothers mistakenly assume that maternal love lasts forever. They assume it will always be there to offset the ongoing costs of children. And having a child is appealing when you make that mistaken assumption.
Instead, prospective mothers should assume maternal love stops at 33 months leaving only affection and maternal grief. And they should assume that children only feel affection, not love, for mothers. These assumptions provide a realistic view of what having a child means to happiness.
For more about emotions, visit: Happiness Dissected
